I haven't been on here since about november, when I actually said that I was going to keep up with deviant art. I know that deviant art isn't all that important, it's just a website, but I really do enjoy seeing an sharing art with a wide range of people. And I miss talking and commenting with the people I used to on here, and I miss seeing your guys' work, and perhaps most of all, I miss creating art myself. This rant is probably less about deviantart than it is about what my life has turned into. theres nothing to express, I've become this hollow shell of nothingness. I think I need to go back to school, if only I could pay my school off. But it just feels like I'm spinning my wheels. And it seems like the things that I found important before are now pushed down some where inside myself. i dont know if I've come to a realization of numbness, or that I've lost myself among pleasing curtain people. Trying to be a savior for others has left me crucified with out revivification. I've failed myself in life. And I have difficulty expressing or defining this listless existance with which i have created. Or how I can climb from this whole within which there seems to be no escape. Is this growth? My younger self would be ashamed.